Joey Scrotes'

there is this thing I do when it rains.

it happens just before I get in my car, usually...

I stop at the door. I close my eyes and look up...

give it about 30 seconds.

after that, the rain seems much different.

I recommend all of the following:

1. Reeses cookies - scrumptious.
2. Sunshine - beautiful movie.
3. the Chicken TomTom at Manhattan's - food that makes you happy.
4. Oodles' butcher steak sandwich - best sammich ever. period.
5. Farkle - highly addictive dice game (who knew? wikipedia it.)
6. Herman Dune - excellent songwriter.
7. Sweep the Leg (youtube it) - badass video with the entire karate kid cast. (catchy, mediocre song)
8. Eggs on burgers. always a winner.
9. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - really fun read.
10. New Jack City - forgot how good that movie is... Nino Brown is a bad mammajamma.
11. Standing in the freezing rain - feel alive at your soggiest.
12. It's Always Sunny - good lord.
13. No Reservations - Anthony Bordain did your mom. and she liked it.
14. Matthew Maconahaugh - L-I-V-I-N... livin'.
15. Christmas fun.

thank you for indulging my love of lists.

now, go spread christmas cheer.

Celebrity Gnomes.

Nick Nolte (mugshot version), Michael Caine, and Gene Hackman.





Good lord. When did the world get this cool?

I have now found the true source of happiness.

A Nick Nolte Mugshot Lawn Gnome.

I'm going to say that again.

A NICK NOLTE MUGSHOT LAWN GNOME!!!!

now that's innovation. I will have one before i am 30.

It's amazing.

Things get bad.

Things change drastically.

Things get turned upside down.


Then it gets ok.        or better.



I am no longer unemployed. 

Then double that.



I'm still single, and actually by choice. 

I just say no.

 something about "no equal".

I don't settle.  It's for them, really, not me.

It's kinda lonely at night, but I'm getting used to it.


I have been painting again and am starting a series,
i'm sure pictures will be posted as they are finished.



The world is a fun, fun place.

 You just have to wait a little longer for all the good rides.

In the immortal words of Ice Cube....

               "I gotta say it was a good day."


Fish tacos and 2$ beers at LaCosta, possible job offer #2 whilst becoming inebriated in Market Square, many friends with grills and the desire to cookout, a few self-realizations, and a good decision to not go to the bar.

word.

Now, if I can just figure out this time travel thing....





time to go to work.  Fo' reals.

there's this thing i do with my lip where i grab it and pull it waaay out, then let it go so it makes a kinda "fup" sound.

i like that. 

like jackets with nylon sleeve linings.  feels good when you have no sleeves on under it. 

it's smooth and cool.

corduroy, gravy, burt reynolds.

giving backrubs., "what has two thumbs" jokes, and ranch.

hot showers, dogs, creepy art, red baron pizzas, conspiracy theories, movies on the couch, wind, the riverfront, slightly cloudy days, patio beers, my ukulele.

these are the things that make me happy.

Things i learned whilst riding my bicycle yesterday.

1. You should wear sunscreen if you have the hairline of Michael Keaton.

2. Wes Anderson soundtracks exist for a reason. Ride a bike around with one for a day, and you will see what those reasons are.

3. I really do like kids a lot.  They're fun.

4. The parking garage stops charging at 8, not 5.

5. A large portion of my friends sit in the old city all day.

6. There is a Dogwood Arts Extravaganza in Market Square. This makes riding a bicycle through it quite difficult. Unless you make a siren noise with your mouth.

7. I am responsible for the problems in my life. I am also responsible for making the changes needed to correct said problems.

8. Running into a lightpost in front of a car full of people is disappointing at best.

9. I like chicken salad sandwiches. I never think of them, but get excited when one is presented to me. hmm. go figure.

10. Knoxville is a beautiful place with beautiful people.

I know, that's only 10 things. but the rest is truly for me to have learned alone.

Also, let me point out that extravaganza might be one of my favorite words. Yet I never use it.

Fun word to say.

extravaganza.

yep.
gonna work that into conversation more.

You should too.

          try it.

say it now.           out loud.

i'll wait.


extravaganza.


feel that smile?

that's the extravaganza doing that.

So, in the interest of the better good, I'm gonna list some of my favorite things today.

Stream of consciousness typa thing, may end up a long list.

Maybe I'll list one you've never done/heard of, and you'll try it and like it too.

so, here we go, in no particular order....

1. Silly Putty.

2. The video for "proof" by I am Kloot. One of the most beautiful pieces of film i've ever seen.

3. Looking up in the rain. Preferably at night, preferably near a streetlight.

4. Chitty chitty bang bang. but keep that one on the d.l.

5. Ranch.

6. Cilantro.

7. The way nylon/silk linings of jacket sleeves feel on bare arms.

8. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

9. COCA COLA

10. Eugene Mirman. Funny motherfucker. google him.

11. Pizza. Try Harby's on Broadway in Knoxville.

12. Ben Folds.

13. Any movie by P.T. Anderson (Magnolia, Boogie Nights, etc...)

14. Dexter

15. Horror flicks in general. (only at night, only in the dark) gotta love them zombies.

16. Any movie by Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, Shallow Grave, Sunshine, etc...)

17. Chuck Pahlanuik. Author of Choke, Fight Club, Survivor, etc...

18. Chicken Meximelt w/ Sour Cream.
It's not on the menu, you have to ask for it like that.
And if they ask if you want "fiesta", you say "yes. I would like plenty of fiesta.".

19. Conspiracy Theories. they' so fun.

20. Drawing with charcoal.

21. That last good stretch before you go to sleep.

22. Air conditioning.

23. Guiness in a bloody mary. Sounds wierd. it's good.

24. Standing on rooftops.
That sounds like it may be a shitty emo band, but I mean the actual act of standing on rooftops.

25. Kaizer's Orchestra. amazing band.

26. The Album Leaf. another amazing band.

27. Aziz Ansari. Not for everyone, but pretty funny guy.

28. Getting/giving backrubs. Don't neglect 'em.

29. Driving with the windows down.

30. Hi-fives as greetings. feels like you're happier to see someone. Makes 'em feel good.

31. Crispin Glover. Fucking genius. This interview is really good, too. it will really impress you the way he looks at art and life. Truly intriguing human being.



I'm gonna stop at thirty-one, maybe i'll pick it up later.

and as a rule. Really, anytime somone asksif you want "fiesta",
whether you're at Taco Bell or not,
you say "yes. I would like plenty of fiesta.".

This is the correct answer in any situation.

So, last night, I had a few beers with a couple of friends. Really nice and low-key. Had a blast. Got to know both a little better, and i'm glad.

That was fun. I needed a really relaxed night.

accomplished some stuff yesterday, too.

Clean car. Check.
Cut hair. Check.
Clean house. Check.
dishes and laundry... dishes and laundry...

shit.

new rule: At the end of the day I want to be able to answer the question "What did you accomplish today" with something other than "not a damn thing". Let's see how that goes. I think it's a good rule. Keeps you moving forward.

second new rule: Must do at least one thing in the creative column. I'm tired of sitting on my laurels. I don't care what it is: write, paint, sketch, build, sculpt, music, i don't care... doesn't have to be much, but I better have something at the end of the day. Let's see how that goes as well.


oh yeah, and there's this:



enjoy.

lookatme!!!

not hungover!!!! WOO-HOO!!!

Let's see...
I got drunk.
Got to know a fuckton of people that i haven't before.
Laughed with good friends.
Danced on multiple people. For no good reason.
Sobered up.
Drove a drunk friend home.

All in all, a good night.

Thanks, everybody, for making it a kickass holiday.


Now to be responsible again.

find a house and a job.

I have new sheets, a new outlook on life, plenty of new friends.

things are finally lookin' good again.

Really good.

Lessons I Have Learned in 2008.

1. Delete your text messages. They slow down your phone, and in the wrong situation, they might almost get your balls cut off.

2. Stick through with your convictions. If you say you'll do something or be somebody, do it or be it. Especially when you really meant it in the first place. If not, there's a certain amount of trust issues that arise, and deservedly so.

3. What I really want, and who.

4. Timing is everything. Wait in the chair, they'll call your name when they're ready. Read a Highlights or something.

5. How nice everything is, when you just stand back and look at it.



I'm sure there's a few more, but that's a good one to end on.

but i'll leave you this...

one of the best songs ever.... Featuring Murray, King of the Dicks.

dear lord, the faint rocks like a motherfucker.

good god... i didn't realize it had been that long since I had written something in here...

1st... My car broke down near the ghetto at two in the morning (shortcut home from the bar... i wasn't buying crack). Two guys kept pacing by my car about 15 times or so, and when i pushed my car off of that street, they started pacing by it, but my buddy Kevin was a fucking trooper and came out of nowhere like the fucking cavalry and waited with me... good fella, that Kevin. also... never call sutherland avenue towing service... building full of douchebags in my opinion. 2 HRS! for a tow 5 min. away from their building, and the were rude about that even. Hung up on me too. Bunch of fuckin' mouth-breathers. Fuck 'em.

2nd i have a new apartment. It's bigger, w/ an extra bedroom, painted now, and in the same complex as I was before... three buildings up. that's right, i moved half a block... don't ever do that. It sucks. You think you can just carry the shit and it takes you twice as long and triple the effort. I felt like Bruce Willis at the end of Die Hard. Saturday Night Live (back when it was funny) once had a commercial for a yard-a-pult... a personal catapult. Genius. That would've come in handy.

Also, I realized how much total crap I have. I have shit I will never need. To give you an idea of what a pack-rat and general odd fellow I am, here is a very small example list of stupid shit i can't make myself throw away...


1. Three wigs-(2 mullet wigs, one afro), two fun mustaches.

2. The first microwave ever. (It weighs more and is bigger than one of my tv's. You actually can cook a full-sized turkey in it.)... by the way, does anyone want a microwave that weighs more and is bigger than a tv and that you can actually cook a full-sized turkey in?...

3. 2 boomboxes that DON'T FUCKING WORK?!?!

4. Three aquariums. none in use. Anybody want one?

5. A shoebox full of GIJoes and a bucket full of M.U.S.C.L.E. men... if you don't know, let google be your friend and peek into my childhood toys.

6. Threw away a tutu just before i moved when i realized it was just a bit too odd for a grown man to have a tutu. Or even a small boy actually... why the fuck did I have a tutu?

I'll stop there... you get the point.


FLOGGING MOLLY

Ok, so we also went to see Flogging Molly in Nashville and it was amazing. If you ever get a chance to see them, do it. I also got to hang out with my cousin whom i haven't seen in over ten years... always one of my favorite family members, and still fucking cool... spent all day barhopping as he told us a partial history of each bar... the drunken nashville tour... highly recommended... we saw a replica of the parthenon and drank in a bar that sells cowboy boots in the same day.



That, sadly, about sums it up... work is going fine, and everything is at least o.k. right now... we'll catch up again tomorrow or the next day.

thanks for stopping by.

for now i'll leave you with this.... ladies you're welcome. men, we will never be this cool... but at least we have something to strive for.

okay, so let's go back a few days and start there...

SATURDAY

A glorious day... spent half the day shopping for birthday presents for the ladyfriend, then went to eat with her family at Altruda's (favorite restaurant in town, if you haven't been, go tomorrow.)... then it was back home for me... i was going to sit at the house, but then i went motherfuckin' sledding!!! WORD! after that, i was all hyped up for a beer. or two. or seven, it turns out. So i went out to the bar... scratch that, bars... in fact, i went to five bars in just under two hours... pretty good for one man, if i do say so myself... Urban Bar, Barleys, Paul's Oasis, The Longbranch, and Union Jack's... in that order...then i went home to quietly pass out on the couch...

also, i won 11 dollars from two scratch off tickets... woohoo!

SUNDAY

Work, work, work, work, work, work, really good lovins, sleep.

MONDAY

Work as usual, then my car keychain thingy went dead, and i couldn't get my car alarm to turn off... couple this with a wire under the console that you sometimes have to jiggle to get the car to start (fine Saturn engineering), and i looked like i was stealing my own car. This is embarrassing on two levels, A) I look like i'm stealing a car. B) I look like i'm stealing a goddamn saturn.

and then... mighty good lovins again, and now i'm caught up to now.

there it is... call it what you will, but the weekend wasn't so bad, i must say.

So i was productive on one front at least ... in less than two weeks, i will be moving in to my new apt.... hip, hip, hooray....i paid the deposit, now i just have to pack.... fuck.

i hate packing.

so after work, i went and filled my belly to the brim with sushi, and was headed home when i decided to go out and have 1 beer that turned into two...

whilst there, i ran into an old friend whose first words to me were:"you're single right?..(i've been dating the same girl for 4 years and he knows this.)... you wanna fuck my sister... she's hot now..." he then produced a cellphone image of his sister... after that he tried to pick a fight with another guy i know, somehow didn't get kicked out of the bar and would periodically find me and ask me, and this is a quote, "hey man, you gotta be my wing man and help me find some pussy that'll drive me home." at this point i had realized i was going to be taking this fella home or he was going to be going it alone... so i tried to enjoy myself a few more minutes before i left... but when i tried to find him, he was gone... i hope someone took him home... for his sake, not theirs.


not greatly exciting, i know... but it's a start.

if you're reading this, it probably means you have visited my My Myspace profile. I highly recommend everyone listen to the song on it (Sigur Ros- Starlfur) in it's entirety. It is the musical equivelant of saying "life may be bad, but it's alright if you look at it right". I know that's a stretch, but if you listen, you'll see what I mean...(also, if you didn't recognize it, it's the song from the jaguar shark scene at the end of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou... "... I wonder if he remembers me?..."... beautiful scene in an amazing movie by the way...

So another Valentine's Day come and gone, I spent it at the house. I want so much out of life... and sad to say, i think i'm going to use this as my excuse to live a full life... it forces me to do something worth writing about every day... elsewise, I feel like i'm wasting the life that has been given to me.

So from here on out... this better be interesting.


I went to see the Dempseys' tonight at Barley's .... highly recommended, if you haven't seen these guys, then why not?!?! I have seen people that you would never see within a mile of barley's or any other rockabilly type band rocking out to these fine fellas.


The guitarist is rockin' is hell, the bassist is a fucking cartoon, and the drummer doesn't give a shit what's going on. They are the perfect combination of personalities for a band. Just a couple of examples of the kind of show you missed...

1. They play for 4 hours!!! That's including one half-hour break at midnight to get drunk again, and, i suspect, to set up any ass the night might bring.
2. My buddy came to a show late, around 1 or so, one time, and the guitarist was rocking it out walking DOWN THE BAR at Barley's.
3. (and this is the best example) Last show, this was the setup for about half of a long song... The guitarist is drinking a bottle of jack and doing the fingerings fro his guitar while the bassist is behind him reaching around to actually PLAY the guitar, while doing the fingerings for the STANDUP bass that he has heaved over his back while THE DRUMMER PLAYS THE BASS with his drumsticks.... this lasted for at least 4 or 5 minutes as they passed the bottle around from member to member whilst trading out responsibilities so that each one could drink uninterrupted.

tell me that's not fuckin' amazing... there's some shit on youtube, but it doesn't even begin to do them justice... just trust me, next time they comethrough... take the nest day off of work... it'll be worth it.


that's it for tday... let's see what tomorrow brings.

thought i would start one of these for the general public to know what's up. Because, apparently, i think you want to know.

Work today at the call center: boring, but pleasant. Made it through the day with very minimal amount of work.

after that, I went out for a beer, ran into a couple of friends. Friendly night.

so that's horribly boring, so here comes the introspective part.

I've been wondering who I am here lately. What I want to do. I'm now 28, I need to figure it out, should've already by now.

I don't know where i want to be in 15-20 years. I'm not sure I care. I kind of think that planning that far ahead is futile, so i'm starting to go back to living for the here and now.

ALSo: have you ever known someone that you're sure would be one of your best friends if you got to know each other? It's hard to meet someone under that pretext. What do you say?.. "Hi, I think we could be friends.".. it reads okay on the page, but say it out loud, it sounds creepy. Oh well, everything for a reason, i guess.

anyway, i guess that's a livejournal entry.

if you're reading this, feel free to add me on here, and leave comments if you want.